Why we should forgive others and ourselves?
Forgiveness is easy but we make it so difficult for us to practice. Why and How you ask?
Well, our ego led mind plays an important part in it. The more we are identified with our thinking(ego led mind), the harder it becomes for us to forgive. The minds a SUPERB instrument but if used wrongly, it becomes very destructive. So, remember that you are not your mind, your mind is a survival machine; attack and defense against other minds, gathering, storing and analyzing information- this is what it is good at. It's not good at forgiving or things like that. So, when you start thinking of forgiving someone just keep your monkey/ego mind aside for a while and let your inner being guide and help you.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness for me is to start living life in the present and not let any past events control my life. It's about accepting what has happened for what is was and still choosing to let it go. In a way, you are giving up your right to hurt the person, for hurting you. It's like saying I do not have to hear you say "I am sorry" in order for me to move forward with my life. You’re no longer giving someone else authority over your mind and heart. Forgiveness is designed to set the victim free and it has nothing to do with the offender. It doesn't mean that you are condoning their actions nor does it mean you think that person had the right to hurt you (in the present or future). Forgiving releases you and the respective person from the pain. You feel so fresh & renewed once you start practicing it daily. It will give you a new beginning!
When you forgive, you in no way change the past but you do sure change the future...Bernard Meltzer
How to start practicing forgiveness?
So, when you are ready to forgive, start with yourself first. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes that you have done in the past and for all the people you have hurt in the past. Once you start practicing it on yourself, it will become easier for you to forgive others. And eventually, it will become your habit. It's just like building a muscle, the more you do it the better you get at it.
Why we should forgive?
- When we don't forgive, we continue to feel sad and miserable and then blame it on other person (who's struggling just like you). It becomes easier for you to blame others for your unhappiness. On the other hand when you practice forgiveness, you will no longer hold the victim mentality anymore. You will take back the charge of your happiness and you LIFE in the NOW. You will become more present in your life and that will further improve all areas of your life.
- It will restore your inner peace. When you start practicing forgiveness you will go back to your natural state just like when you were a kid. How cool is that? Yes, we all can attain that childlike selfless love once again. You see, forgiveness frees you from the burdens of the past and helps you master your emotions. And when you clear your mind of the emotional poisons through forgiveness, you return to that child-like naivety again! You will then not let the drama of the past ruin your present. You will start living each day with new energy.
- Forgiveness has a tendency to open up your for Love coz love and forgiveness can not be separated. To truly love, you must forgive. To truly forgive, you must love. So, your life will be filled with love more than ever.
- Forgiveness will help you grow wiser. You’ll still experience negative things/events but now you will know how to handle, respond and go through them.
- When you practice forgiveness, you stop holding people hostage to their shortcomings. As you start forgiving people, you start seeing them as fellow humans. You strengthen your compassion towards others.
- You will become more Present and Creative. When you’re focused on all the drama/trauma/pain that life and people might’ve caused you in the past, you’re still stuck in the past. Forgiveness drains the past of its power and liberates the energy of the divine NOW(present moment). When you’re present, you can imagine, create and transform. The future belongs to those who are present and creative. You can’t be creative when you’re too attached to the past. Creativity is a high vibrational energy that comes to those who are tapped into the power of presence. Learn from your past mistakes, but don’t relive them again. Forgive NOW!
- Forgiveness can improve you physical health. According to John Hopkins Medicine, forgiveness has been linked to “lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.
- Forgiveness is not for other people, it's something we do for ourselves. It doesn't condone the actions of others who have hurt us. It doesn’t mean what happened was okay, and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcome in your life(your boundaries still matter). Forgiveness just means that you've made peace with what has happened, and you are ready to let it go(pain).
- Forgiveness is a sign of strength not weakness. It means that you are strong enough to control your mind and emotions and not let them control you.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong"...Gandhi
- Forgiveness is a step towards healing. It's a gift we give to ourselves. When we forgive someone, it is the highest and most beautiful form of love (plus you get a sense of peace and happiness in return). And it becomes easier for you to heal those wounds.
"When we hold onto a resentment, grievance, shame, guilt, or pain from the past, our entire body-mind suffers," Deepak Chopra
- Forgiveness is an act of empathy and compassion for the other person. When we put ourselves in the shoes of the other person, we can see the forces that led them to do what they did. That doesn’t in any way justify it when others do wrong, but it can help us in the process of moving forward.
- Forgiveness helps us to restores hope; for better future, for a better relationships. By forgiving yourself and others, you restore your hope, and with more hope you can face anything life throws your way.
Conclsuion
Remember we are all humans, and we’re all doing our best. Forgive and forget and move forward with love. Obsessing over negative people/events from the past doesn’t erase the past. All it's doing is robbing our NOW and disturbing our inner peace. So, be mindful and keep your eyes focused on things that are meaningful to you in the Now. And remember that it's okay to feel whatever you are feeling at the moment(emotions) but it’s not okay to let those emotions take permanent residence in your heart and mind. Stop searching for perfection, it doesn’t exist. We all should start accepting that people are humans and sometimes they have problems. Do your best and forget the rest.
Forgive and forget. Live and let live.
As they say "Be the change you’d like to see in others".. Lead by example!
“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” ...Oscar Wild
I hope this post was helpful to you!
If it was, then don't forget to share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Lot's of Love and Light
This post is indeed very helpful. We all struggle with forgiveness and I then we suffer because we don't know how to deal with it. Thank you for giving us the tool and knowledge. Keep sharing such posts, he really helps.
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